the official worship site

ZAK SPEARS SAYS (Part VI)...

I am a big fan of yours. I love the way that your upper lip curls up when you are really into the sex in a scene. I am also a fan of Derek Cruise. I was wondering what it was like to work with him. I think I saw in one of Chi Chi's Hardbody videos that you and he were roommates for a while. Thanks for all the enjoyment.

Although Derek is a great guy and friend, it was a little weird working with him. One, he is like my little brother and two, everyone was and has said that he should have been on the bottom and that the scene would have looked better in that position. Derek is living happily with his long time GIRL friend on the coast (Yes, he's one of those straight ones and yes, a real girl). Derek and I were roommates for about a year or two, we had to share the bed due to the fact that Chi Chi and I had not moved into the big house yet. I will say this - it was nice cuddling with the big kid but no sex happened off-screen.

Who are some of the celebrities or other famous people (politicans, businessmen, etc.) that have hired you and are familiar with the general public?

Before I fly off the handle again about another fucking idiot saying or thinking that I hustled or engaged in prostitution, I expect you to make yourself very clear in what you just asked.

What do you think of the whole Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky mess? (Any advice for Bill...or Monica?) And if you mix J-Lube in your blender, I will never drink daiquiris at your place.

I will not discuss politics or religion. I will say this much - I don't give a damn who he's fucking. As for the daiquiris, J-Lube is water soluble or I would not endorse it. It washes out very nicely in the dishwasher.

Sorry - as soon as I posted I remembered the rule - I could say that was a nonpolitical SEX question. Any experiences with married men? (um...and I was kidding about the blender :-) )

It seems to me from listening to the gays around West Hollywood that monogamy in a relationship, whether it be straight or gay, is outdated. Thus, I'm outdated as well, I suppose. I strongly believe in monogamy in a relationship regardless of sexual orientation. I also feel the these relationships I constantly hear about as being open relationships are just agreements of convenience, so queens can say they are in a relationship but still fuck around on their mates and not feel guilty. What's a matter boys, can't keep your dick in one ass at a time? I don't care who I piss off on this one. As far as I'm concerned these people and their relationships need professional help. Problems making a commitment? Yes, I know a long winded reply. Oh and to answer your question, no, never have I had sex with a married man, or for that matter one that was dating someone else.

Zak - I really enjoy your posts and hope you can ignore the occasional assinine questions and stay on the forum. What was it like living with Chi-Chi?

Thanks, I will disregard any more uneducated questions of that type in the future. I'm glad you've enjoyed the videos and look forward to many more. Living with Miss Chi Chi was definitely an experience. Chi Chi and I called our home "the house for wayward porn stars". Due to the fact that we always had the guys staying with us because the studios didn't want to put up the cash to put them in a hotel - or was it so we could keep an eye on them so they wouldn't go out and blow a wad before their scene. Chi Chi is a great guy, very sweet (no, he doesn't direct videos in drag). He is also a very good friend and very big hearted.

I read on the official Zak Spears Worship site that you like to go scuba diving. Where has been your favorite place to dive and what places do you most want to travel to go diving? I've been diving off the Florida Keys and loved watching the fish. I was playing with an eel until he swam away. I didn't actually touch him. I just let him swim by a few times and watched his body move around my hand as he swam. Looked kind of like this __/\__ from the top (but the shape was round not that sharp looking). What's your favorite part of diving? What do you like to watch as you are diving? Have you ever explored a sunken ship?

Yes, I love scuba diving. It's not necessarily the fish. I like the sharks and my two favorites are the hammerheads and manta rays - they're beautiful to watch. I've been in and around the Hawaii islands, Cozumel , San Juan, the Keys, Rio and a few others. The only problem is I never want to come back up. As far as what I'm looking at, depends on whom I'm diving with.

Zak - Bravo for your stand on being faithful to your mate! I feel exactly the same way. It is refreshing to hear from somene who understands that a relationship must be based on fidelity in order to be truly healthy for both parties involved. I know not everyone agrees, and to each his own, but I believe that when you find the right man he will be a very lucky guy. I think it is important to have your lover know that he can come home to YOU, not you and someone else. Of course, it is also much safer that way. Thanks for taking your time to enlighten us about the person behind the star. I wish you all the best.

Thanks.

Zak:  Thank you for your words on monogamy! I thought I was the only one. I'm in my 30's, attractive, and successful (I know that sounded VERY immodest - sorry about that). I've been asked why I am not with someone right now but I don't want to go into the whole "I want an old fashioned "like-a-rock" monogamous kind of guy to party with and spend quiet nights at home with without all the games but I'm beginning to doubt that there are any out there" explanation. Instead, I just say that I haven't met the right guy in a real long time. But you are so well-known. Doesn't that help break the ice with guys you'd like to talk to? And wouldn't that widen the pool of candidates considerably?

No! On the contrary. I think it scares the shit out of them, and I feel it has closed the pool, as you call it. I do not get asked out. I think that men are very intimidated around here, or in general. Go figure. I don't understand it. I never used the porn name to get sex. Besides the type of guys that want to have sex with me because of who I am I wouldn't bother with anyway. It's meaningless, why bother.

An assortment of questions from a long-time fan: first, thanks for sharing your thoughts on the perfect date and your views on monogamy. You've broken a bunch of stereotypes in your replies. It's nice to know you're more than a great set of pecs with the sexiest voice of the century (among other attributes.) So... if this isn't getting too personal, can we ask about your ideas on the perfect fantasy? In other words, when he finds Mr. Right, is the real Zak as intense - some might call it kinky - in his own bedroom as he is on the TV screen? You and Rod Majors are probably the best looking guys in video today and your scene in "Sex Radicals" belongs in the Hall of Fame. Any chance you two might work together again? I've read in earlier posts about your P.A. Will we see that in your new videos? What's the gauge? And, finally, what do you wear to bed, if anything?

The perfect fantasy goes along with the perfect date, it's one and the same. I am as intense as I am in the videos but in a different way. If I'm seeing someone seriously, then I'm open to all sorts of play and experiences with him, not just sexually. Rod is retired permanently, I hear, so no chance of a reunion or return. As for the PA, that depends on if the studios have enough balls to show it in a video - and it's an 8 gauge. I never wear anything to bed and I refuse to allow my mate to wear anything either. If he wants to wear clothes to bed, then he can sleep on the coach. I like easy access, at any time of the night.

One question for you. How do you shave your nuts?

With a razor. Like I would any other part of my body.

I agree with the guy who wrote about "Home Grown" - you on top of Michel D'Amours makes me melt - and jealous of Michel. Unless you're currently with someone who likes them shaved, please leave your nuts the way nature created them! There's nothing I like more than nuzzling and lapping away at a set of furry balls. How long do we have to wait for your new videos?

It's a matter of preference, since I prefer having my nuts clean and hair free. That they will stay. That goes for my mate's nuts as well as his ass. I prefer to eat out a beautiful ass without having to bother digging hair out of my mouth - I hate stopping. But thanks for your opinion anyway. When the videos are ready to roll then I will post it on the forum.

Zak, if I may ask, do you do any escort work? I've loved all your videos.

Once again, I'll say it, I NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL ESCORT. So keep wishing.

I only check in from time to time, so excuse me if this topic has been done to death, but I was really pleased to hear about you're doing videos. I have known a few guys who did porn and was always amazed at how little most of them were paid to do a scene. Even the 'stars' don't get that much, even with the boxcover. I know for a lot of porn fans, they understand that being a pornstar isn't like being a movie or tv star, but perhaps subconciously, they imagine that there are big paychecks and residuals. In fact, for a lot of guys $1,000 is a good paycheck for a scene, isn't it? For the 'stars,' isn't $3,000 a big salary? In the meantime, guys who buy these tapes shell out $59, $69, or more. Hell, if they sell 200 tapes, they've broken even. All this is to say that I think it's great that you have decided to do your own. The guys who do the work ought to get an interest in the profits. You'll get better quality guys who'll give a better performance. I know a couple of guys have tried it before and it hasn't gone too well. I hope you can learn from what went wrong for them. Something tells me distribution and advertising may have been the problems, but what do I know? If you can get the thing distributed right, you may go down in porn history and not just for your work in front of the camera. Good luck. I'll be one of your first customers.

The solo line may be done by myself and a few others. The actual videos will most likely be done by the companies that I so wish to work with. As far as the money amount, that will stay between the video companies and me - I don't want to start anything with anyone in the business.

"I like easy access, at any time of the night." I hope you were joking. This sounded like you treat your mate like a sex toy. I hope your relationships are deeper than that.

Don't read more into a statement than what is really there. If I'm seeing someone, then it's because I want to be with that person and I hold them in extremely high regard. The person I would be in a relationship with, will be and usually are put on a pedestal. As far as the "easy access" comment goes, I love making love at all times of the day and all day if my mate is willing, and able to take and give it like that. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and have to have it. That doesn't mean I treat my mate as a sex toy. It just means that I want to express my feelings (yes and in different ways as well) for him whenever I want.

I hate to sound naive, especially in front of one of my role models - but what is an 8-gauge PA?

It stands for a type of piercing, 8 gauge is the thickness of the gold ring.  A P.A. stands for Prince Albert, which is the type of piercing and where it is placed.

You get paid for sex on-camera ,why not get paid for sex off-camera? If you were for sale, I'd like to hire. Why don't you escort?

I'll repeat my question, WHY SHOULD I ESCORT? I never did the videos for the money, due to the fact (and I'm not bragging) that I never needed it. I did it for many other reasons (check past threads for that one). So I never did nor needed to do videos to live or support myself. What I did and what I do now, I do because I enjoy doing it. It's definitely not for the money. Furthermore, I will say that I give the guys in porn who do escort a lot of credit. There is no way that I could allow or permit some aging geriatric with clammy hands and a self esteem deficiency to touch me in any manner. This is not a personal attack on anyone in general, although I'm sure that I will get a ridiculous amount of response on this one. Oh well, this is the way I feel about the escort business and now you know why I have such a repulsion to the subject. Take care and all my best to you all.

In those personal relationships that matter the most to you right now, did the people first come to know you as ZS or as <censored>? Are the two of you much different from each other?

This is not a direct attack on you, but since you did it first (how did you know my initials?). Rule one, in this and any other forum, according to the owners of this site - there is not to be any use of personal names and/or initials. If I see my or any other person's Christian name used on this forum, I'll see to it that the person who used it is taken off the forums, period. I would expect more from people than to have such a lack of respect for me and others on this forum. Now to address your questions, as for my nutrition schedule, I didn't address it because it's far too long and wordy to type up. Besides I don't usually share it with anyone. The Zak Spears name is for industry use only, no one calls me Zak outside of the business. Nor would I answer to it. If someone calls me Zak in public then I would respectively tell them my real name and have them use it. The way I feel about personal relationships, as you put it right now is probably the way I'll feel about them in the future. I respect them, honor them and support them, in my friends, family and my own relationships. Zak and I are one and the same. There are parts of us both in the videos I did. The director asks for a particular scene or act and we (as actors, performers - what every you want to call it) give it to him depending on what the scene demands. I can be rough and dominate in my personal relationships or gentle, it all depends on what my mate and I are into or doing. I would no more hang my boyfriend from the rafters and beat him than I would anyone else. Unless of course it's something that he would like to experience, we have discussed it fully and have agreed upon a cut off word. But it is all an act, whether you're into leather, bondage, uniforms or drag, it's the act of acting out a fantasy. Regardless if you do it daily or once a year. You asked, "did the people first come to know you as ZS or by my real name". It all depends on if they watched the videos or not.

The dictionary defines a prostitute as the following: "One who solicits and takes payment for sexual intercourse". That is what you are. You simply get paid to have sex with other people and you are given money as well. That does not change the fact that you are a prostitute. Don't take this high and mighty moral ground. You have this condescending and supposedly superior perspective simply because a few of your (hopefully former) fans are physicially interested in you. Take it as a form of flattery because I personally find your personality, taken from your responses, repugnant. Looks will fade, Zak, and so shall you.

LOL, I must have hit a nerve, what does the dictionary say about people who hire prostitutes. I wasn't attacking anyone directly so why take this attitude with me. I don't care who you hire or how you justify it. I don't get into escorting nor will I ever - so why do people continue to ask? Like I said, you can always wish. It would be fun to argue this subject face-to-face but of course you get to hide behind a computer screen just as I do, and pass judgments upon the things I say and do. I don't feel that I'm taking a high and mighty attitude with this. I'm just very tired of this question and I don't see any relevance to it in this forum. Taking the judgment out of it, and you can say I'm justifying it if you want, but I never considered the videos as prostitution (who cares what a dictionary has to say) - I never did it for the money. There is a huge difference in it. But, yes, this is my opinion, so I will not disrespect yours and of course I don't expect you to agree with either. Redundant or not, my opinion is mine and yours is yours.  I wish you all the best in life and love.   This subject is closed.

I am curious about your solo scenes. Do you find it difficult at times to jack off in front of a camera? I think I could have sex on camera, but I am not sure that I could jack off. Are you able to dismiss the camera entirely, or do you even need to do so? It seems to me that it would be easier to perform if I had someone with me to get me going. Of course, since I have not done either, I really don't know.

It's sweet of you to give a kind word amidst all this negativity being slung around here about this silly escort subject. It's actually easier to do a solo video - I feel because you only have to rely on yourself for the scene. When you work with another model, person whatever, you have to wait for them to get hard, if they are having problems or if they're straight (supposedly). So I feel that solo videos are definitely less work.

Just wanted to express thanks for being so thorough in your responses to people's questions. I also respect your opinions and life decisions. Some guys who post on these boards don't know how to respect people's boundaries. I think it just pisses people off that they can't 'buy' anything they want just because they have a disposable income. You're doing a terrific job, and your picture on the box is a good indicator to me of a good flick... that's all anyone should ever expect! As long as you make them, we'll buy/rent them!

My many, many, many thanks to and wishes of the best things in life. I appreciate the things you said. I forgot that people sometimes forget their boundaries with people as well as sometimes I do. Your words helped me to come to a solid ground. I thank you much.

Friends, I believe Zak is in denial. If you get paid for sex (in video or in private) you are a prostitute. Also, since Zak is so adamant about monogamous relationships, are we to believe that if Zak is dating someone, he gives up his video career? If not, he is having sex with someone outside his relationship. This is not monogamy.

As far as I'm concerned, escorting and doing porn are as different as apples and oranges. If I was in a relationship, I would not be making videos - which haven't started anyway. One of the main reasons I retired the last time was to commit to a monogamous relationship with my last mate. Unfortunately he was not able to commit to me and be monogamous but hey, you live and learn. So, if I were to fall in love with someone or commit to them, I would not even consider making films. I will also go on to say that if I was currently in the business and I fell for someone I would stop. So yes, you are to believe this. This is the way it is. By the way, denial is a river in Egypt. LOL

OK, Zak, I'll accept the public whipping you gave me for referring to the initials of your real name earlier today. You asked how I knew your name - from an ad and from a movie credit, I believe! Big mistake on my part - sorry. But I'll take another whipping! Thanks for your thoughtful answer to the question about your personal realtionships that matter to you. More people who read these postings should take note of that aspect of your personality. And regarding future videos - you once asked reaction of readers to solo videos. Originally, I would have said no to solo, but after just watching the Catalina "Best of Zak Spears" I may think otherwise. The first scene is of you taking care of yourself - you're in yellow sweatpants (for starters), and watching yourself being filmed on television. Anyway, you looked good (even with those shaved nuts, but enough of that!). If you go the solo route, give us plenty of facial shots, and of your sweaty chest, back, etc. I guess this really isn't a question, but something for you to add to the suggestion box. Thanks for continuing with these forums!

Thank you very much for understanding, I hope that I wasn't too abrupt with you on the subject. Yes, you may have another whipping, LOL. The solo with the yellow sweat pants was the very first video I did for Catalina Video. It was fun, I came all over the cameraman lying under me. He said he didn't mind. But much easier than my first scene with another person. I will print out your suggestion and put it in the files for future videos. Thanks and stay happy.

I would like to thank you for your “Perfect Date” story. I loved the trip to Disney, I agree that people open up in this type of surrounding. I would love to spend the day with you. I can’t believe someone hasn’t swept you up. They don’t have any idea what a great guy they are passing up. Their loss. I wish you the very best. Thanks for all the candid responses and I enjoy it when you put the jerks in their place. I guess they forget you are a real person with feelings, too. We only see the Zak on the screen, not the total package. I am glad you take the time to let us know there is more to Zak than meets the eye.

Believe me, I wish someone would scoop me up. It would be very romantic and very welcomed, it gets lonely sometimes. But it's good to be alone sometimes. It gives us time to work on ourselves and reflect. The only problem with porn is that people forget we're real people with real feelings too. They only see the character on the screen, not the person behind it. I am glad to have the opportunity and the time to talk to everyone on these forums. It's a lot of fun for me as long as I or others are not attacked for our beliefs. It's very sad when people can't distinguish between a person and a character they may portray. Thank you for the kindness and support.

Hello? Reality check. Zak, if you get paid to have sex in movies, you ARE a prostitute.

Your opinion and you're welcome to it.

Why do you believe some people escort? Why did you get started in this business? Please tell us how you find this difference in being a pornstar is different from being a prostitute? How is that not the same as an escort? What is your opinion at the backlash from your genunine statements even if you knew it would offend?

I have been patient, and have given this mundane subject and those who have supported it enough of my time and consideration. My closing statement on this subject is this - prostitution and doing porn are two different animals. I don't condemn people who buy or sell themselves in prostitution and I don't expect to be condemned or hassled for doing porn or for what I believe in. Escorting or prostitution is not for me and I will never do it. This subject is CLOSED. I will not donate any more wasted time to it.

Zak, I loved your story in the previous thread about shooting all over the cameraman on one of your scenes. I've always wondered if that's a common occurance. I bet some expensive equipment can get ruined quickly on a hot scene!

Actually, I does happen, but it all depends on where the cameraman is placed at the time of the orgasm or "money shot". The equipment is usually covered by plexi-glass so we won't ruin the camera.

Zak, you seem a patient fellow. I wonder if I may ask you something. I imagine that filming porn movies is like any movies, there's lots of stopping and starting as cameras change positions and get new angles. How do you turn that sexual concentration on and off so easily? What do you do inbetween actual filming: keep going with your partner or take a break? How can you maintain the passion or the heat under those circumstances? And of course when (I imagine) you have directors and people barking orders at you etc. Also just a trivial point - in "Solicitor" you are supposedly in a closet jerking off while Tanner Reeves and Carl Radford fuck, in what is supposed to be your introduction to gay sex. Was that actually filmed while you were watching those two? Just curious! You certainly got very big there!

Like any other movie, there is a lot of starting and stopping. To get back into the scene, I do just what you said, I go back into my head and find my concentration or find a fantasy and get on with the scene. Those people who are allowed on the set are very quiet and respectful. The only one who speaks is the director and the guys in front of the camera. It's actually not very hard to do a scene. First, you get there, meet everyone - usually you know the camera man, the make-up person, director etc. You grab something to drink and head into make-up (if any is needed) and talk to the director about what he needs for the scene to be successful (what's your motivation in the scene - LOL) or what are you trying to portray in the dialogue. Do the dialogue and start the scene, stop, change positions a lot and hopefully they have listened to you and put you with a hot and handsome guy that you're into to do the scene with. Then when they have all the angles they need, you do the cumshot. The end. The scene you referred to was done on two separate days. I did the jack-off or solo scene in the closet by myself and the other two guys did their scene 2 days later.

But of course being a pornstar is different than being an escort. A pornstar, like any actor, is paid for his performance onscreeen. The payment is for the performance, not physical contact. An escort is paid for his services on a far more personal level - in other words for physical contact and/or sex. The difference is obvious. Zak is no prostitute. This ranting sounds very much like someone else on here who was saying pretty much the same things to Joey Hart not too long ago.

Thank you for making your point so clear.  I couldn't have done it better.  Perhaps we should report this to ATKOL and let them deal with it.  Once again, my many thanks.

Listen, everyone... why don't you try to see Zak the old fashioned way. You asked him if he escorted but forgot that you could maybe have a date with him for less money if you just asked. He has shown his views about having sex for the sake of having sex and about "star fuckers" so if you can't go to dinner and get to know him without thinking about sex then maybe you're going about it all wrong. It would be nice if a lot more people had morals like Zak. What he does with his life is his business. If you can't get to know someone without having to pay for their company maybe you should think about yourself. There are some of us that would like to get to know Zak just because he is a really cool person to get to know. Have you never heard of making friends with someone because you liked how that person acted in a public forum. As for his "repugnant attitude" I think he is making a strong stand. That means we have a totally different view of his response. Maybe you should take time and read his posts here and on the official Zak Spears site. Then maybe you would understand his response. Thanks, Zak,  for taking a stand on these issues. If you have an opinion then most people do respect your ideas and accept them (I am one of those people). I'm happy you don't get angry and spout off like a couple of other stars have on pressures from the people who have no respect. Too bad we're on the opposite sides of the country. If we weren't, I would make an attempt at "scooping you up". I would at least try to give you one more friend in this world that you could talk with on any subject that you wanted. Take care and stick to your guns.

Wow! What a wonderful and well thought out post. You have a great ability for conveying your thoughts. I envy you for that. Thank you for what you've said, very sweet of you. All my best and thanks.

BTW Zak, I am just returning from a long weekend and 4 days off of ATKOL but I am very impressed that you are an advocate of monogamy. I am also very monogamous and am involved in a relationship that is almost 3 years old. I see lots of traits in you (from what you've said on the board) that I see in my partner (i.e., opinionated, strong-willed and very quick to look past the surface).

Hope you had a nice weekend. My sincere congratulations to you on your relationship, I wish you both many, many more happy years and hope you get to grow old together. Thanks for the compliments.

So, what is your favorite color? No, seriously: Have you ever wanted kids?

Finally something intelligent was stated on this forum. Yes, I would like to have children, My sister just gave birth to a beautiful little girl, 9 lbs 6 ounces and is doing very well - she has also blessed me with a 2 year old nephew - both of whom I'll will see in December for Xmas. I'm very excited to see them. So, of course I spoil them terrible, but what's a proud uncle to do? I would love to have a child to raise - my friends who really know me constantly tell me that I'd make a wonderful father but, although I firmly believe that men or women in a stable and nurturing gay relationship would and can make wonderful parents, I personally would not raise a child at this present time. I will stick to the Big Brothers program and my volunteer work (no, I'm not joking) at the children's hospital. I find it far more rewarding to help less fortunate and neglected children who don't have some of the advantages that some of us seem to take for granted so easily. By the way, I have many favorite colors, it depends on my mood at the time.

Well, after my own absence from the forums for a while, what a treat it was to come back to Zak kickin' ass and takin' names later! You and I had an email exchange a while back regarding some nasty email I had gotten over one of my posts over this escort issue, and because of those emails, I stopped posting for a while because it had gotten so damned ridiculous. Well, the hell with that noise! These select few who want to bitch about the difference between porno and prostitution are more than likely the very same ones who leave wankstains on the pages of Leviticus! If they are so certain that making porno videos or modeling for money is the same as prostitution, and object to that, then I would like to know what the fuck they are doing surfing messages boards hosted by, for, and about porn actors! If someone doesn't like what you do, they don't have to watch you! It just makes my ass twitch everytime someone drags up this "escort" crap. WHO THE HELL CARES??? It's the oldest profession known to man! I reiterate some previous remarks I made in past postings that those who bitch about escorts are like those who are against abortions... they are the ones no one would want to fuck anyway! So many of those posts are just seething with jealousy so thick you'd have to chop it with an axe, but I'll bet it sure made their dicks hard thinking they sure put Zak Spears in his place! This "dirty fruit of the loom" set don't warrant the time of day, let alone the bandwidth they waste just so they can do their superiority dance a-la the Church Lady after seeing their post show up on screen. Ignore them Zak, don't even respond. Those of us who know better will more than understand when you don't reply to a certain posting. Whew! So... how was your weekend, babe?

Welcome back, glad to have you back. Had a wonderful weekend, a guy that I met a few weeks ago (in his 40's, very beautiful) and I went up the coast to a B&B that allows people traveling with animals in the hotel rooms. It was great walking 4 huge dogs through a hotel lobby while gay queens were running for their lives all over the place grabbing their Lhaso Apsos (rats, whatever) and holding on for all they were worth. LOL. You would have laughed. But we had a very nice and romantic time, went for walks on the beach, nice dinners and beautiful sunsets. Cliché but it was great. Take care.  (BTW, GAY QUEENS is a description, not a cut. Don't get bent.)

I have to laugh at you guys. You won't give up. Zak has told you about his feelings about escorting and how he feels about other people who escort. He makes his feelings known about many things. I wish more people would be more open about their feelings so the rest of the world could figure out if that person were someone they want to get to know. Okay, so sometimes he gets a bit worked up and says things the wrong way. Don't you? If you would read into that what he means and stop trying to find the insults, we would all be better off. Instead of trying to condemn him, why not try to just simply ask if he meant it that way and/or give him a chance to explain or apologize for something he said in haste. I personaly am currently dating a man that's 54 (20 years older than me) and I didn't take the "aging geriatric with clammy hands" statement to be offensive. Of course I've seen the strip bars and know that I could never let 90% of the guys there touch me for money. Now imagine having sex with one of them, even for money (no thank you). Therefore I understood Zak's statement all too well. It seems you want Zak to admit to being a prostitute. If I remember right, he never said anything about your definition of a prostitute. He said that he would not escort. Is that so hard to understand? Why do you want to insert a name on what he does then relate it to something he doesn't do? Do you want him to connect them, then decide that it's no different, then start escorting? John Doe likes to watch young boys have sex therefore he's a child molester therefore he should go out and have sex with little children? Totally different subject, but the concept is the same. ZAK DOESN'T ESCORT but he does get paid to have sex in movies. Now name that whatever you want but don't call him a hypocrite because he won't escort. He has his standards. He sticks to them. If you find that he's been out turning tricks and geting paid well for it then you can call him a hypocrite. I would like to know so I can form a different opinion. But, until then, I say that he's got guts for standing his ground. If you don't like his wording then I will refer you to the above statement.  Re: "obstreperous" - I had to go look it up. But I guess you're right. There is a lot of noise here, but it's fun. None of the other stars have kept up a thread as long as Zak. I'm happy you can objectively state their feelings without creating much more noise. But then again, maybe that's part of what makes this thread keep going. I think it's Zak and his willingness to answer questions openly and with feeling sometimes. And Zak - I'm moving to California. You're mine :-)... Just kidding. Keep your chin up buddy. Hmm... I'm trying to think up another question to get things back to something lighter but I'm too focused on this other stuff. By the way, I have my moments about expressing myself. Most of it just comes from my heart. Wish I could do it while I was talking as well as in writing. I have time to think here (and to go back, re-read and edit like I just did). I'm still looking forward to meeting you one day. Take care.

Thank you, very well said and very kind.  Thanks for the dictionary site.  All my best to you.

Hey, Zak. Can you share the name of the B&B? I'm always looking for places to take dogs... and the Super-8 motels aren't all that romantic... well, for certain kinds of "romance," they're okay.

What's a Super-8? There's a book - when I find the title I'll post it for you and anyone else that is interested. It lists all the B&B's, hotels, motels, resorts and establishments that allow dogs (and yes, cats too) to use the accommodations as their owners and covers all of the West Coast. It's a lot of fun to travel with your furry (pets) friends, and they love the change of pace as much as we do. If anyone else can help us out with the title of this book, it would be most appreciated. Take care.

ZAK'S FINAL POSTING ON THE ATKOL SITE:

It may be true that I sometimes come across as crass, usually because I may have felt that the individual asking the question was passing a judgment on something I may have said or in the way I said it. When I told someone to go start his own thread, I meant in the context that he used it to discuss, find and compare different men who do engage in prostitution, escorting, or male companionship with the exchange of money (whatever you what to call it, it's your business, not mine nor do I want to get involved in it.)  But not target me for public ridicule or attack me personally for not escorting. I answered his question by saying that "No, I do no escort nor have I ever nor will I". The question was answered and should have been dropped and a new subject added,not constantly be pushed on the forum. How many times does a person have to answer the same question before you get that it's done and that it has been answered correctly. But it seems to me and a few others that that was not good enough for him/them. He and the others mentioned within my and this thread seem to have a chip on their shoulder because of the way that I express myself, by using my words to describe my feelings. Something I have had to learn how to do since birth, due to the fact that I do have some problems communicating my feelings into words. When I said "There is no way that I could allow or permit some aging geriatric with clammy hands and a self esteem deficiency to touch me in any manner" I was describing the WAY that I would feel about the person or/and about the way that I would feel about myself in a situation of this kind. When I state "this is nothing personal" that is exactly what I mean. I mean absolutely no offense, harm or malice to anyone with the statement. The new thread is not about why I wouldn't escort, it's about personal attacks on myself. Instead of attacking me and other porn stars, perhaps these individuals would like or should come out and ask ME directly what I meant by a particular phrase or statement. I believe that it would help to clear up a lot of misunderstandings. I wish you ALL the very best, and hope that you as I can be civil in the use of these forums that ATKOL has been so kind in allowing us to use. I apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings directly, this is not why I'm here, not why I joined in on the forums and was not my intent. With thanks.

AND A FINAL NOTE FROM ZAKWORSHIP...

Well, I am afraid that I have some bad news for everyone at the forums. I spent an hour last night on the phone trying to calm down a very angry and upset friend (Zak) but with no success. Zak was very angry and hurt at some of the things that have been posted at this site in the past few days, and he’s tired of being flamed and having his words taken out of context or misinterpreted. It upsets him that people would think that he would offend or hurt people intentionally (he’s actually a very big-hearted guy).

He was very hurt by some of the postings recently, particularly the ones that were crossposted into several different forums, as he felt he was being attacked by certain individuals. There are certain subjects (such as escorting and the ridiculous thing about meat) that he has no interest in discussing. Although he has said repeatedly he doesn’t want to discuss them (because they have already been dealt with to his satisfaction in previous threads on this site), these individuals have brought them up again and again, ignoring his requests.

Knowing Zak, he’s only speaking for himself as to his dislike of escorting - it’s something he has no interest in, although he doesn’t look down on other people who do it. He’s not a mean person, and when discussing things openly on the forums, he has often indicated personal preferences and dislikes, which unfortunately some individuals took offence to and as a result flamed him for having those likes and beliefs. He feels he is entitled to his own opinions as well as everyone else, and wanted to share his feelings with everyone here. Zak got onto these forums to chat and share parts of himself with the public, to give people a chance to know who he is and how his mind works.

So unfortunately, due to a few "bad apples" and the fact that he is tired of feeling angry and upset every time he visits the site, he is pulling out of the ATKOL forums.

He wanted to let everyone know the following: "To the people who were polite and did use the forums in the correct manner, I want to apologize for leaving the forums. I did enjoy it while the 'rules' were observed and I wish everyone all the best.   Zak."

And on that note, THE ZAK SPEARS FORUMS ARE CLOSED.